So much to tell you guys. To start, for those who know me well you know that I have/had a best friend who I was "in love with" but he didn't feel the same way about me. Instead of waiting for him to come around I told him two weeks ago that he needed to move on and he needed to let me move on cause I wanted to find someone to be with and he was keeping me from doing that. Two days later, out of the blue, I met a fantastic man and we hit it off. NOW, I can't stop thinking about my new "friend" and I look forward to seeing him. We want all the same things and we have so much in common. We are both asking each other "is this really true?" However, I am not ready to jump into anything without knowing someone real well cause I don't want to get hurt like in the past; who does?

So, the purpose of this blog is that today I took another look at the words I wrote down during our initial Manifesting Over Mojitoes meeting and ALL the things I wanted EVER this guy posesses. It is so weird and I just can't believe it.

At this point, I am just going to enjoy the ride and hope that things continue to go the way they are but using positive visualization and having a "plan" and using the power of the universe seems to really work. :)

Do I stay or do I go?

How do you know?  I wonder is it just me that doesn't understand men?  I laugh as I type that because I know I am sure I am not alone in thinking that, but really?  What is with all the mixed signals?  Why isn't anyone clear anymore?  I wonder, do I give a lot of mixed signals to men? 

So many questions were playing in my head today after spending time with a good friend.  It is so confusing.  How do you know what to do?  You have chemistry--it is a given, but one of you is not available ?  Do you remain friends?  Or do you run while you can?  I am not sure which way to go on this one. 

I used to run like mad in the past.  However, in the recent years, I learned to stay if I felt it was worth it.  And now?  I am not sure which way to go because either way I would be left with some questions:  If I stay to see where it goes---then will I be wondering one day, did I waste time waiting?  If I run, will I wonder what if I stayed would it have been the love of my life?


At what point, do you know it is time to go?

If you have Ms. Right, then why look for me?

So I am on facebook.  I get  a friend of a friend request to add as a friend....does that make sense?  In another way, a friend's friend friended me?  Does that make more sense?  I hope so.  Regardless...someone friended me so I accepted the friendship because due to my business a lot of people friend me to learn more. 

So he sent me an email:  "Thank you for adding me.  You really are one beautiful woman." 

I wrote back and said:  "Thank you for the compliment.  May I ask why you added me as a friend?"

He wrote back and said:  "I'd like to get to know you better.  Maybe see how things go."

So it intrigued me enough to look up his profile.  He is in a relationship and his profile even says he met ms. right.  So tell me, what is he thinking? 

When I am with the love of my life, mr. right...I don't forsee me looking for someone else.  Any suggestions on what I should say?

Making the Impossible Seem Possible

So, I did this step the night of our Mojitos--Visualizing the Intention!  I really got into the feeling and the mode of what it was like to have that someone in my life.  I took it one step further.  About a year ago during one of my classes, I had a my students draw a picture of what they wanted in life.  The picture I drew was a family---a house, the ocean and a family standing together.  It was really just the right picture for me.  I did the exercise again with one of my classes and the picture was different--there were more things I wanted to focus on in that newer picture. 

After we did our intention exercise, I went back to the simple picture because it felt just right!  A couple days later, I looked closely at the picture and then turned it over and wrote the The Story of Me.  It was a beautiful story and it felt good.  When I read what I wrote I believed it.  It was the story of me when I was living the life I dreamed of.  I read it now and still feel that it is believable. I feel like I stepped up a notch to be able to believe the story that I wrote. 

Now my goal each day is to read that story at least once a day---usually at bedtime --like a bedtime story.  It feels really good and really possible; making the impossible seem possible.  Anyway, I am glad to be sharing this with you all.  I hope you are able to experience the feelings as well.

To give him a chance or not to? When he is hot and cold.

Does that sound familiar to anyone else?  So there is this guy who met me in the summer and went on and on about how great I was.  He seemed to really like me. Then he seemed to get all wrapped up in his life and kind of faded away.   I had other things going on too. 

So recently he looked me up again to talk to me. He asked me out for coffee and I finally went out with him.  He was all hot after me.  That was like three weeks ago. We talked on the phone a few times and through IM/email dailly, but we haven't seen each other--I know he is a student and single dad, but really he doesn't have time to get together for a quick call? 

We were supposed to get together last Friday night...he was supposed to call me.  I text him as I was going into a class I was teaching and then nothing.  I even called him because I got out later than I intended.  No return call.  Didn't hear from him all weekend.

So I wrote him a mail today and told him that I expect respect and truly felt blown off.  I said I didn't have room for disrespect in my life.  He did respond to my email with a "reason" for him to have not called me back...I don't buy it though...how could you not send a simple email or leave a simple text or phone message?  I mean the plan to get together was Friday...it is Monday and truly I believe he only responded because of the email.  Do you ladies agree? 

To be nice or not to be?

To be nice or not to be?  That is the question pervading my mind. 

Well, here it is a few days after our Halloween excursion.  I had an awesome time with my girlfriends.  I haven't dressed up for Halloween in years and it was wonderful and I have to admit I can't wait until next year to dress up again. 

So when did being nice become a reason for someone to get upset with you?  Being the nice person I am I didn't ignore a guy who wanted to dance with me. I am totally game for dancing So out on the dance floor, I get hit on.  This guy decides to join us on the dance floor and dances with us.  Me being a nice person was okay you can join us.  He starts dancing with me and wants to dance with me the rest of the night. I was feeling a bit smothered.  Now I will admit, it was nice to have someone to dance with, but I had my girlfriends to dance with so it wasn't necessary.   He wanted my number and I told him that he seemed nice, but I don't normally go to bars and I don't feel comfortable giving my number to anyone.  My friend told me that I can't be nice.  I have to not make any eye contact, but that is not my normal nature.  I generally like people and I like connecting with people so what is one to do?  I am not used to going to bars and I am not used to being rude.  Do you have to be rude to people? 

So this experiment of finding Mr. Right is having me come out of my comfort zone in many ways.  There are things I like about it--the amazing revelations I am having and the connections I am building with my girlfriends.  And well, there are those things I do not like such as going to bars where there are a lot of drunk people, a lot of noise, a ton of young people and the energy is just overall crazy.  I laugh because Saturday night there was a great mix of older people, but too old even for my taste which is why we moved on to a new location.    So where do Singles Go?  Where do we go to meet someone?    Where do we go to meet someone and not have to be different than we normally are?  I just want to be myself---I like who I am.  Where can one meet singles who are just like me---wanting to be ourselves without the influence of loud music, alcohol and crazy environments?

Why are we single?

Most of my thoughts today were about last night, Halloween. I am big about self reflection and it's always good to take a step back and look objectively at ourselves in order for us to be better people; for me anyway.

I must say, as much as I was trying to "slip away" and leave last night. Today, it dawned on me that I was thinking of excuses and reasons why I should go home and call it a night. I did have a fantastic time but when I told my parents today about my Halloween costume, my brother said, "So in other words, you were a slut?" I didn't get mad. I actually thought it was funny but it was close to something I was thinking last night as I was dancing with Martin (that British guy). You guys told me you thought my costume was great but in the back of my mind I figure, "of COURSE a person is going to get attention if they dress slutty." So the point of this post is, at what point can I trust that someone likes me for me and not because of the way I dressed or how I looked. Last night was a perfect example. He said, while we were dancing, that he wanted to kiss me and I said no cause I didn't know him. In my mind I thought, would you still want to kiss me if I was wearing sweatpants. He also told me that he did not have his glasses on and I automatically thought, would you still be interested in me if you really saw what I looked like? Then today, I thought, maybe I am not with someone because I have a negative mind set. A childhood friend wrote on my Facebook page today about why I am still single. It hurts when people ask me why am I still single. I think it really is a choice. There are plenty of decent guys who ask me out and want to get to know me but I am too afraid to give them a chance because of the risk of them getting to know the "real" me and then not being interested. I know the 'real' me is not bad, I am just too afraid to end up with the wrong person so I look for things that disqualify them before they even start. Overall, I think a lot of this has to do with my own insecurites and I am not going to find the relationship I crave until I can let go of this negative mind set that everyone is going to hurt me.