Tuesday, November 3, 2009

To be nice or not to be?

To be nice or not to be?  That is the question pervading my mind. 

Well, here it is a few days after our Halloween excursion.  I had an awesome time with my girlfriends.  I haven't dressed up for Halloween in years and it was wonderful and I have to admit I can't wait until next year to dress up again. 


So when did being nice become a reason for someone to get upset with you?  Being the nice person I am I didn't ignore a guy who wanted to dance with me. I am totally game for dancing So out on the dance floor, I get hit on.  This guy decides to join us on the dance floor and dances with us.  Me being a nice person was okay you can join us.  He starts dancing with me and wants to dance with me the rest of the night. I was feeling a bit smothered.  Now I will admit, it was nice to have someone to dance with, but I had my girlfriends to dance with so it wasn't necessary.   He wanted my number and I told him that he seemed nice, but I don't normally go to bars and I don't feel comfortable giving my number to anyone.  My friend told me that I can't be nice.  I have to not make any eye contact, but that is not my normal nature.  I generally like people and I like connecting with people so what is one to do?  I am not used to going to bars and I am not used to being rude.  Do you have to be rude to people? 

So this experiment of finding Mr. Right is having me come out of my comfort zone in many ways.  There are things I like about it--the amazing revelations I am having and the connections I am building with my girlfriends.  And well, there are those things I do not like such as going to bars where there are a lot of drunk people, a lot of noise, a ton of young people and the energy is just overall crazy.  I laugh because Saturday night there was a great mix of older people, but too old even for my taste which is why we moved on to a new location.    So where do Singles Go?  Where do we go to meet someone?    Where do we go to meet someone and not have to be different than we normally are?  I just want to be myself---I like who I am.  Where can one meet singles who are just like me---wanting to be ourselves without the influence of loud music, alcohol and crazy environments?
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3 comments:

  1. DeraNovember 6, 2009 at 4:32 PM

    I know what you mean about being nice but think of it this way....if you don't get a good feeling from someone there is no sense in being nice cause you don't want to hurt their feelings. It could be a matter of life and death. We hear about so many people in the news who were good samaritans and ended up getting raped or mugged or murdered. I would rather be a bitch than be in a ditch somewhere.

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  2. RachelNovember 7, 2009 at 8:50 AM

    I totally understand; but if that is not my nature...I don't want to change my nature, ya know?

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  3. MaryNovember 28, 2009 at 10:06 AM

    Be a bitch and not in a ditch...I like that, Dera! Rachel, could you have given him a fake number? All, being ourselves isn't working in our goal of finding a guy, so we have to make some kind of change. Nothing drastic! I mean putting ourselves out there. Don't like the bar scene? How about joining a hiking club, if you like to hike? How about taking an art class, if you like art? How about volunteering for an organization you believe in? Donating blood at the Red Cross? Join a gym? We have to put ourselves out there.

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