Experiment

I would like first to suggest to Rachael that perhaps success could be a feeling rather than a specific outcome; did you feel good about it? Yes = success!

I will be in Chicago on 11/6 and will, yet again, miss our gathering. ;-(

I'd also like to report on a little experiment I'm trying this week. This involves the concept of 'what if they're not misbehaving?' and 'if he really liked me, he wouldn't call me on Saturday to do something Saturday night; he'd have called earlier in the week if I wasn't his last resort.'

Ladies, WE would call earlier in the week because we are diffuse thinkers versus the laser-focus thinkers that are men. What if the guy gets to the end of his work week of putting out fires and battling dragons and finally, on Saturday morning, he can relax a little, pick up his head and say to himself, "Now that I've saved the world from certain destruction, hey, I'd like to spend some time with her. I'll give her a call."

We're pretty well trained to say no, because how dare he think we have nothing better to do than wait for his call, and on such short notice, to boot! So I have to ask myself - do I want to see him or not? Maybe that protocol should be tossed out the window.

So here's what I did. We've been in a place of not actually connecting, but trading voice mail messages to check in and say hi for a little over a week.

On Wednesday, I left a message letting him know I was planning my weekend. I said I'd love to spend some actual face-time with him, walking the dogs, doing a movie or dinner, watching a game (thus providing ideas about what would please me.) Did he think he could carve some time into his weekend to do something together? I closed with, 'I'd sure enjoy seeing you.'

So here's the experiment part: I planted the seed in the middle of the week when I'm planning my weekend. He's still wrapped up in his work-week, but the thought is percolating and he knows I'm interested and he also knows what I'm interested in doing. Tonight (Friday,) he will likely be wiped out because he does physical work outside, no matter the weather. I don't expect to hear from him tonight. (What a nice surprise if he did call!)

I think he'll call on Saturday, probably early afternoon after he's done his morning routine (whatever that may be) to suggest an activity. He doesn't have to read my mind (the pressure's off,) he knows a few things I'd be interested in doing, so he can return my call pretty safely knowing it's a good bet that I'd like to hear from him. He knows I won't be mad that he called me on Saturday after he's changed his focus and transitioned into personal time because I already suggested it would be a good time to call.

What do you think, Ladies: is this manipulation or making the best use of predictable patterns and resources? I'm leaning towards the latter and I'd like to see some chatter about pro's and con's.